olvidado

2007-01-12T23:33:00.000+08:00

I have new site:

http://fallenangel4.multiply.com

2007-01-01T05:06:00.000+08:00

Me.

2007-01-01T04:51:00.000+08:00

A year has passed
and I still havent change
for being so emotional.

I think I must give up already,
rather to endure this pain.
But Im not gonna hate him for that.

Waa. Its already 5am.
and you know what?
I still couldnt sleep.
My heart's been aching again,
as usual.
I think I dont have tears anymore
cos of crying too much.
Really cant take it anymore.
When this pain will be cease?
='(

2006-12-31T02:44:00.000+08:00

Its just so painful.
Yeah. Damn so painful.
Every night
I'm crying over to sleep.
Heart's been aching, as usual.
Everyday, I'm not in my mood,
no mood to eat,
no mood to talk,
no mood to laugh.
All I did was to keep quiet
and realize those tears rolling down on
my cheeks again and again.

I wish one day,
I stopped breathing.
Can't take it anymore.
I also dont know what's
wrong with me now. ='(
Dont ask me if I'm ok.
Im NOT ok.

Just now I tried
to go to church at Somerset,
prayed over and over again
but...
Seems it was all unanswered.
)=
All I need is a shoulder
to lean on.

...I WANNA SCREAM MY SADNESS OUT!

2006-12-29T15:08:00.000+08:00

I just wish that
he also loves me
like how much I love him.

But I think, it
wouldnt happen it anymore.
Seems he feel bored with me
already.

Couldnt sleep last night,
heart's been aching,
thinking about it..

I couldnt take it anymore
so I watched some video clips
in my hp.

But it was no use.
I cant stop thinking about it.

How am I going to forget it?
I must make myself busy.
Maybe, I rather go to church everyday at 5pm
(Church of our Lady of Perpetual Succour)
(2 bus stops before Bedok Interchange)
since I dont have work for 2 weeks.

2006-12-28T12:55:00.000+08:00

If I apologize for what I had done, would he let me start again with a clean sheet?
Damn.
But im not used saying sorry to people.
Saying sorry is not in my dictionary.
If people wants me to say sorry,
they rather change their name to "sorry".

Asswipe!
I dont know what to do.
I dont want to hurt people's feelings.
But I didnt meant to hurt him.
I know its a very bad news for him,
but he cant do anything but to accept it, right?
He said I must leave him alone until the school re-opening.
Fine. I also want him to leave me until I leave Chai Chee Sec.
And at last, he told me that "he rather not to see me in school".

Waa..
I have now alot of problems.
First of all,
My parents always dont allow me to
do things like this and like that.
They treated me and my sis like babies.
Seems we need to have our wings clipped.
Treating us like babies sucks.

Thats why Im quite overindulged with my parents especially with my father.

Oh ya, if he thinks that im also hurt
about that, well, no, im not.
Remember, im insensitive.

Change topic! Wahaha!

I want to see the doctor and
check whether I have disease or dont have.
Cos I always have headache.
Now im lucky. I didnt get headache today.
It happened this to me once in a blue moon
so Im very happy.
No headache! Whee! Haha! (=

I want to buy condom. =X
FOR FUN.
Not for fun on bed ha! Excuse me!
Just for fun. In case I want to do sex.
JOKE! Haha!
I won't do. Cos I'm too young.
UNDERAGE.

I dont want to steal one from
my parents' cabinet anymore.
Later they would think I will use it for real.

I remember when I was 7,
I found condoms,
and I was very curious like a fucking ignorant girl
so I opened one and played it.
I put my finger in it and stretched it.
I found it boring so I throwed it to the other house. (my neighbour)
=X

Oh my..Oh my..
New year's coming. 2007.
And a new age.
Im getting older.
Im just waiting for the 2010 to come.
The legal age! =X
I can do anything I want to do.
My wings wont be clipped no more.

2006-12-26T12:30:00.000+08:00

::: 26th of December :::

Me and my teddy bear, Fuck.

Waa! Asswipe!!
That fucking Mrs Tan complained
to my father and mother that
I always go out with guys.

Luckily, my parents didnt get angry
cos they knew before that I dont
have too much girl friends.

Some more, that day,
my parents thought Im lesbian.
They observed me since Im Primary 5 until now.
They said
I dont like to play with girls, especially barbies.
I usually mingle with my boys cousins and friends.
I usually play boy's games.
I know alot of boy's talk not girl's talk.
I Hate girls.
ETC.

Duhh. Im not a lesbian.
How can be a lesbian will have a boyfriend?
If im a lesbian, I would not be with him n0w.

2006-12-20T18:22:00.000+08:00

::: 20th December :::

5 more days before Christmas Day.

Haha.

Just now in the morning I took

bus 24 to go to Bedok.

Then Bhavesh sms me and

told me that he can't go.

It pissed me off. >:/

I missed him. :O

Especially that gay...I mean guy.

(Bhavesh)

Especially his childishness attitude.

Then, instead of going back home,

I went to Kal's home

and ask him to go with me to

eat lunch at Pizza hut.

....

Im now chatting with

the guy who hurt my feelings

last time - my best friend, Gerard.

Im his January Lover. (2005)

Wohaha. I still can remember the

"monthly lovers ni Gerard".

October Lover - A'niel

November Lover - Joy

December & January Lover - Eyc

October & November (2006) Lover - Ella.

According to him,

"best friend first to become his lover".

Then after the girl fell in love with him,

he will left the girl and come back to his

ex girlfriend.

Painful...right?

Like he only used me as his

band aid or plaster.

At least Im nOw happy with that guy.

That guy. Haha.

Hope he wont do what Gerard did last time.

Picture taken yesterday. (=

2006-12-18T12:26:00.000+08:00

::: 17th of December :::

These are the things inside my pocket

before I finished my work.

(My posb and a cigarette from those malay guys who gave me).

Waa! I thought I'm going to stop

from smoking now.

-.-'

Di pa pala..

2006-12-16T22:05:00.000+08:00

::: 16th of December :::

BORING

2006-12-15T21:50:00.000+08:00

::: 13 December 06 :::

Fcuk sia ,
That time we went to go to OCH [Old Changi Hospital]
so we took bus 18 and went straight
to tampines interchange.
While we're in de bus, Kal was very moody,
Then bhavesh and me tired to cheer him up by doing some pranks and jokes to him like touching and massaging his breast.
Then suddenly one irritating fcuking mother
started to shout, insult and scold us.. WTF..
She shouted because Bhavesh is very funny, naughty and childish
and I couldnt help my mouth to shut.
You know me, I laugh like a mad pontianak.
And she said her son couldnt sleep in the bus because of our noise. Duh..
So what if her son couldnt sleep? Why? Its not her grandfather bus what.
She insulted us by saying " You dont have mother and father ah?
Your parents never teached you manners ah?
Go to hell ah!
Go and die ah!
You want to fight your religion ah, you go marry quickly
and do wadever you want!"
And all the people looked at us.
The mother scolded me and Bhavesh
because we're the ones who make noise.
Wtf .. fight religion? Muslim PEOPLE must be PATIENCE not HOT - TEMPERED. But wad she had done was not right .. Some more she pointed her MIDDLE-FINGURE to US.
Damn It. Fcuk her ah. Asshole!
Somemore,
she showed us her back and her husband did nothing but stand there and just watched his devil wife.
Thats not what a muslim have to be..
I hate it. Fcuk sia.
after she went off de bus,
she quickly walk off QUICKLY. What a Coward!! *Clapping hands*
How I wish I could KILL that Devilish Lady..
Her fcuking eyes is so big man, I like to pop it with tooth-pick.
Somemore her lips are thick. I feel like poping it out.
When she was walking away from us,
I want to call her and go infront of me and talk with me.
She dont have right to scold me like that.
And after that, we still continue our day, we forgot about that fcuking lady and had some fun at Och.
After that, I went to my work.
(6-10pm)

2006-12-14T01:48:00.000+08:00

::: 14th December :::

Ekal, Eyc and Bhavesh at Escape.

Kiss me.. lol.

Eyc and Mike.

Me, Viel, Glam and Gab-the photographer. =X

Sleeping time... (Except for me)

Us with that irritating duck.

Find me.

This pic was taken by Gab.

2006-12-12T00:32:00.000+08:00

::: 12th of December :::

Me and Glam with the

Pizzza Hut uniform.

I dont like my 2 moles on my forehead.
Advantage: Having that moles on your forehead
means you are clever. =X
Disadvantage: Its ugly.

Haiya! I dont know
where to go later.
Khris' house at Pasir Ris
or stay at home only.

I want to go to Kuya Rocky's house
at Tampines but he's not in his house.

Anyway, Yesterday was fun.
I went to Escape theme park
with my 2 friends.
At first, I feel boring and dizzy.

So I just kept quiet.
Until that Bhavesh tell some jokes
with Kal.

Most fun part was at the Simei Park.
We stayed there and smoke.
I smoke cos I felt cold running in the rain.
We only finished 4 sticks.
And there's one Indian mother
who looked at us angrily
because she thought we smoke in front
of her son. Duh!

And time goes fly
when you're having fun.
They go home 8pm.
=X So early.

2006-12-11T01:07:00.000+08:00

::: 11th December :::

Haiz.
Im really pissed off today!
Argh!
Fuck him.
Asshole.
Some more my internet connection
is on the timer.
1pm to 11pm. Argh!
Thats why when I came from work
there's no connection.
Haiz!
I dont want to go to work tomorrow
cos I feel like sick, like that.

2006-12-10T14:16:00.000+08:00

Wahaha! Sira blog ko! Shit..
Friendster's profile sux man.
So ugly.

By the way,
yesterday we went to
Kuya Rocky's block.
(Blk 863)
We stayed at the park
doing nothing.
Luckily there's Vandamme
-The clown.
Haha.

Yesterday night my tummy aches
and my mouth pain
because of that crazy Vandamme
who dont have shame.

2006-12-08T18:02:00.000+08:00

::: 8th of December :::

Haha.
There's one NS boy who..
who asked me for steady. Lol.
He asked me 2 times.
One time was before he go to NS
and the 2nd time was yesterday.

~~Damn him~~.
I dont want him
cos they said he's a playboy.
But then he said he already changed.
Clue: His name starts with letter "L".
Sorry for him,
Im already taken.
Im stick to one,
like a leech.
Haha.

Then yesterday I went to work.
Go for training first and do memorising
all the foods we can see inside the menu.
=X
Memorise the table numbers
and setting up the tables.
Lucky, Im not crazy just now
or else, I'll make a prank.

2006-12-05T15:57:00.000+08:00

::: 5th of November :::

Wahoo.
At last,
Im all alone here.
No one can stop me
from what I want to do.
Glam went to Paul's house
with Nikki and A'niel.

Haish!
There's SOMEONE who's feeling HORNY
now.
Seems like he wants sex.
Haha.
Yucks!

I miss...Taekwon-Do.

Even though I only reached
yellow belt..eh? I meant
green belt. Lol.

2006-12-03T19:38:00.000+08:00

When boredom strikes.

Haha.

I dont know who are those people.

Haha.

this picture was taken
last May 2006, I think.

Eyc with Glam.
I know,
my hair looks funny.
I used wax that time cos
my hair was still short.

Me and Glam... In Philippines. (=

Glam, Gabbie, Eyc.

Eyc.

2006-12-03T15:20:00.000+08:00

::: 3rd of December :::

3rd of December 2005 was
the day God took him away from me.
Painful memories - Yes, it was.
No matter how hard I try to
forget it, still
nothing happened.

I wish,
my memories with him
will be erased like a message
in the sand.

I'm gonna dry my eyes
right after I end my
one last cry.

2006-12-01T17:00:00.000+08:00

This 2 gays always
makes me laugh
in some philippino shows.
Haha.

2006-12-01T15:35:00.000+08:00

::: 1st of December :::

My dream dolls. (=

Ahh! I want to buy these dolls.
But I cant find a store
which sells Living Dead Dolls Series.
):
Lol.

Hahha. What's this? Emo vs Punk?

Karate-punk? Hhmm
Never heard of it before.
So ugly! Karate-Punk? o.O

2006-11-30T23:10:00.000+08:00

Nikki with a lovely ghost.
Lol.
Well thats me, behing Nikki.
While applying at Pizza Hut.
(:

2006-11-30T22:18:00.000+08:00

::: 30th of November :::

Why THOSE people couldn't
understand me?
):
How am I going to make them
believe that its only a plan?
Damn. Asshole.

I dont want to join "that group" first.
I meant, I dont want to go
out with my Filipino friends.
Like what I did last time,
I didnt join them for a long time,
and joined again because of
Kuya Rocky and Khris.
They're not going to see me for
a long time again.
(Except for Nikki, who can see me always.)

Im going to bond with my
another group again.
Miss 'em.

Waaa!
On Monday I got work.
Starting of my tiring day.
Im still waiting for Jeco to work there.

2006-11-29T11:40:00.000+08:00

::: 29th of November :::

Waaa!
I woke up early today
and do excercises.
Lol.

And im now hungry...
...can't go out of my room
or else my mum will see me.

Hope Jeco can work in my work place
so after school,
someone can accompany me.

Last night Im planning
what to do on my birthday.
Hhmm..
Overnight?
And since im turning 15,
I want to receive 15 gifts.

Last 2005,
i received 13 gifts since im 13 years old.
Last 2006, I received 13 again, not 14,
cos one of my friend is out of country.
Still can remember,
someone gave me a small box of gift
and when I opened it,
its a DJ Mix brand of cigarette.
Omg.

Me with my short hair. Haha.
I never cut my hair, ok?
Glam's behind me,
scratching her hair.

Eyc without wearing make-up.
"Simply me".

Eew.
I dont like my eyes.
Its colour brown.
Hate it.
I want my cousins eyes' natural colour,
dark green mixed with gray like that.
Like broken doll.

If only I am Spanish,
like my father and grandparents,
maybe my eyes will be blue or gray
like my grandfather's one.
But im only half, not pure Spanish,
and got my brown eyes from my mother.
So, too bad.
=X

2006-11-28T21:53:00.000+08:00

::: 28th of November :::

At last,
that guy already admitted
that he uses someone's msn id.
Then that guy called me,
asking me to go with him to
Vivo City.
But sorry, I dont waste my time.
I have alot of things to do
and I have work.
Time is precious.
Lol.

Next week is the start day
of my work at Siglap Pizza Hut.
4-5 bus stops after Chai Chee Sec.
And I would stop from my work
if my class position goes above 10
and level position goes above 15.

Luckily on 7th of December
is my day off.
I dont have work.
Can go out with Arvin.
(:

By the way,
there's one guy who gave me, Nikki, Glam
a box of Pizza for free.
Haha.

My dear is going to Baguio now,
just now he sms me.
Wow.
I miss Baguio.
I miss the coldness and the
peanut brittle.
Omg.

I also miss to go to province
and do water skiing.

* Missing him so badly..

2006-11-27T22:06:00.000+08:00

::: 27th of November :::

I accompanied Glam to go to at the school which she applied.
They just fixed some application matters.
We went back home around 5pm.
Glam want me to accompany her again to go MDIS then
SIC then go back to MDIS again. =X
I asked Nikki if he already asked his manager if
they accept Dependant Pass.
Cos im not pr.

Then tomorrow
We want to meet at Tampines Intrchg
and to Siglap to apply. (:

2006-11-26T17:29:00.000+08:00

::: 26 of November :::

2 Days I havent post an entry.
Well last 24th and 25th of November,
I did the things I usually do, as usual.
Last 24th of November,
my dear went to Philippines for
a holiday.

Then, yesterday night,
I was surprised to see Khris in front
of my house.
He said he just want to see Glam
and leave my house by 7.30pm.

And when Glam wants to
accompany Khris to the bus interchange
to meet Marvin,
She suddenly pulled me and never let
me escape so I can go with them.
Damn, I was wearing a pink big shirt, and
mini shorts and my neighbour
asked me if I am wearing shorts or jus underwear.
Some more, I just finished bathing that time
and Glam didnt even gave me time to comb my hair.
}:/
I looked like one of the street children.
Lol.

By the way,
there's one person
who said that my boyfriend is
a gay.
And he said I'm a stupid gf
who don't know her
bf is a gay.

To that person who said im a stupid gf
and my bf is a gay, well,
Vete a la mierda, usted que es desesperado en sexo!
Quien piensa quel es un individuo tan hermoso pero el no es.
Si el es un alegre, entonces cuales son usted, bastardo aceitoso!?
How big is your head now?
Cos Your head is gettin bigger cos
of your friends' praises on you.

2006-11-24T17:37:00.000+08:00

::: 24th of November :::

Damn! Just now,
Im watching Wowowee
until I forgot to go to
band practice today by 2pm.
Lay Kai informed me yesterday,
she said no french horn player
so it would be great if I come
and the sir is friendly, not fierce.
Who the hell do I care about the sir?
=X

Never mind,
I also dont want to practice
and to join the competition.

This is my unfinished sketch
last night.
I know, its ugly
thats why I didnt finish it.
Lol.
See the details of my sketch - not enough.
Haha.

By the way,
Mi novio va de nuevo a las Philippines manana.
Espero y ruego en alguna parte en su
corazon que permanecere siempre.
Lo faltare tan gravemente.

Haiz.
Realmente lo
amo con todo mi corazon.
Deseo que el sabe realmente lo amo.
(=

Sorry for speaking Spanish.

* The wind that blows the dove, Is the wind that blows my love, Hope it'll find its way to you, wherever you are...*

* Would it be nice to hear those words - I love you from the one that you love...*

2006-11-23T16:05:00.000+08:00

::: 23 November :::

Russian kiss?
French kiss? Brazilian kiss?
Haha.
Which one do you prefer?
Lol.

All I know is
that the Russian Kiss
is only the same with French
but only abit different.
Then the Brazilian one is
like...fucking the tongue.

Ask me anything about kisses,
I know alot.. Lol.

Long time never sms Fahmi.
I wonder what happened to him
after he got beaten.
=X

I don't know whether Im
going to band practice tomorrow!
hahha.
=X

Nothing to do so I edited my pic
again.
I don't know why I put red roses.

2006-11-22T18:32:00.000+08:00

::: 22nd of November :::

Omg. Omg.
Im gettin' fatter.
Now,
my abs is no longer to see.

Just now,
I found myself
sipping milkshake
and drank 3 tall glasses of milk.
And ate choco cake.
Damn. Lots of fats!

I must work out this holiday
to get my last time's body back.
Must do 150 sit-up every morning
and do stretchings before going to sleep.
Wahoho!

Its already 6.30pm.
I must go down.
Go and sit below the block.
I'm going to accompany my
friends and sis smoke.
I don't know if
im going to do, too.

Okay.
Till here.
Got to go.
Muacks!

*Missing Arvin...*

2006-11-21T21:27:00.000+08:00

::: 21st of November :::

I woke up 10 am today.
So early.
=X

Just now in the morning,
Im really in my bad mood.
Cos I got irritated with my cousin
who loves to disturb busy people.
Damn.
Until I burst out into tears.
And some more, my favourite thing was
now totally crushed.

Khris, Mike and Glam
helped me to mingle
with them.
Until the cheerful and talkative EYC came
back again. (:

Anyway,
last night, Danielle, Glam, Viel and me
were planning to go to Raffles.
But I don't know why they didnt go.

Tralala.
I hope tomorrow I can
wake up around 6am.
I need to work out cos my
bones are gettin' weaker
like what Glam said. (=

Ouhya,
Today, I received another gift.
Wahaha! (=
I don't know why I received gifts
this month and past months.
Any special?
No special day except for my birthday
and Christmas.
o.O

One more thing,
Just now, Michael throwed my
soccer ball to
Khris' private part.
Well, its really my idea.
*sigh*
I wish he still can move.
LOL.
And some more, he got basketball match
this Sunday.
Hope his "----" pain will be gone soon. (=

This is me.
Just woke up.
I know, my hair looked like doggy.
WOOF! (=

2006-11-20T13:34:00.000+08:00

::: 20th of November :::

My mother woke me up today.
Asking me where's Glam.
I said that she's jogging outside.
She's asked me alot of questions
until I got irritated, I screamed and cry.

Yeah.
Im kinda weird.
Cos you can only make me cry
if u disturb me from sleeping not when im awake.
That's why my sisters are
taking advantage of me when im sleeping.

By the way,
I asked Michael to help me apply
in Pizza Hut in Tampines Mall
where my friends are working.
This is my idea to stop my grounded days.

Me-reading and studying my Day 29
and eating korean noodles
around 1am, after typing my final letter.

By the way,
there's someone added me on msn
and I sensed something that he's a FAKE.
I know that guy.
He just used other guy's picture and name.
He thinks Im a stupid
He thinks he can get me by his stupid prank huh..
DUH!

2006-11-19T19:06:00.000+08:00

::: 19th of November:

Luckily,
Today no one woke me up and disturb me from sleeping.
Woke up peacefully today.

Next time,
I'm going to turn off my hp before I go to sleep
So people can't message or call me.

Last night I slept around 2am..
...Enjoyed talking to Arvin.

I saw my friend's profile at friendster - Sandra
My friend from gigs in Philippines.
She's an emo-punk and
She also dressed like emo-punk.
Thus, she looks so attractive.
And I was surprised to see her frumpy.
Maybe it's because her designer
Is now gone to Singapore.
Joke.
But others said that her boyfriend
Doesn't allow her to wear like what she wears before.
Pity her.
She wears dowdily.

By the way,
I didn't go to church today
Because I'm grounded.
=X

Wow.
3 months left before my dear Glam's debut.
And she still hasn't grown up.
Haha.
I'm thinking what gift I should give her.
Not just an ordinary gift.
I want special one.

Im quite excited to see
who will be my next opponent in bowling
Bwahhaha..

2006-11-18T15:40:00.000+08:00

::: 18th of November :::

I cant sleep last night,
feeling more gulity.
I fell asleep around 4am.

Ekal went to my house around 2pm
to return my badminton racket
and the soccer ball I gave to him 5 months ago
which is the T90 Vector.
=X

I saw Gabbie (my sis) today.
Its been a quite long time I never saw her.
I kissed her until she said 'Ouch!'.
(=

Ouhya, last night,
Im so bored so I took paper and pen
and wrote one story titled
"The asshole"..

Glam laughed when she read it
cos its corny, horny and disgusting.

By the way,
Just now im pretending to be happy
until I walk out cos I cant pretend anymore.
Cant take it anymore..
I feel like crying..
but I forced myself not to
cos I dont want to see myself crying.
(Long time never cry)
Im not crybaby.

This picture was taken before
my play in theatre ( Php )

I think I will be left alone
here in sg in February.
Because my dad, mom and sis will go
to Philippines to see
the new business my dad had opened.
=X

2006-11-17T22:50:00.000+08:00

::: 17th of November :::

I just remember this picture.
Im still 13 that time
with my shorty hair and
with my former best friend, Ice.

By the way,
I wan to go to Admiralty,
the haunted there which was used to be a
Mental Hospital.
Wooo..nice.
Maybe I can see crazy ghost there.

2006-11-17T15:17:00.000+08:00

::: 17th of November :::

I hate Over Acting people.
( OA for short )
You know,
the way how they react.
Damn.
Like HIM.
Surely, that ~~asshole~~ would think that he's the one
im talking about.
Well, yes, he's right.

Anyway,
Something ruined my plan.
Oh, not 'something', I meant, 'SOMEONE'.
But yeah, he didnt meant it actually.
It only drives me mad.

One more thing.
Its already 40% YES and 60% NO.
Last night,
its 60% YES and 40% NO.
Well, sorry, it was switched.

Haiiz.
Last night, I cant sleep.
My heart aching
and feeling guilty.
And wondering
what would happen
if I really do it to that 'someone'.

Yesterday night,
Arvin told me that the date of our birthday
came out in 4D.
:D
But not as exactly as 2104 or 0421
but 2041.
Haha.

2006-11-16T01:17:00.000+08:00

::: 16th of November :::

Well, I've got our pics already
at Old Changi Hospital.

Glam.

Vandamme and Janice.

Sane and Anthony (Tonton)

Michael and Eyc.

2006-11-15T15:35:00.000+08:00

::: 15th of November :::

Im not in my good mood today.
Cos that fcukin bastard ruined my day.

Today I supposed to go out.
But I remember that im.. grounded.

So what to do?
Just stay in home all day, all night
till my eyes turned all white.

this is me- beside the christmas tree.
Haha.
I was finding something
but I ended taking a picture.
=X

Its now 4.31pm,
and im waiting for my friends
to come here.
(Nikki and Gerard).
Im playing "Orgasm Girl"
while waiting for em.

Anyway,
I do really hate my mom.
I dont know what's the fcukin
matter with her.
Me and my sis did nothing to her
but she treated me and my sis as if
we did something wrong to her.

Like last Sunday,
I want to go to church.
And what the fuck,
she still can scold me and
said that Im not allowed to go to church.
But I still go.

And now,
she screamed and screamed at the top of her lungs,
but we didnt do something.

She's plastic too.
She acted in front of my friends
as if she's very "kind".
But when my friends turned back,
she's going to scold me for nothing,
she'll say that "i dont like her, i dont like him"
and "dont ever try to ask your friends to go here again cos I dont like them."

I do really HATE her.
I dont care if she's my mother.

2006-11-14T15:27:00.000+08:00

::: 14th of November :::

My bill came already.
And its still the same.
Still $130.00

Im going to cut that line
and I want to get new
phone from Starhub.
=X

Estoy comenzando a amarlo mas.

Cos at first, I really dont.

Cuando puedo verlo otra vez?

Porque lo falto tanto.

Casi las semanas nunca lo consideraron.

y estoy mirando adelante to see him again.

Damn.
My lips were so red just now.
As in red
like I wear thick red lipstick.
Cos I ate korean noodle
And its so spicy.

So boring here.

I want to post a picture

but my phone couldnt send it.

Its always "Message sending failed"

And it really pissed me off.

While waiting for the picture to be sent,

Im sms-ing Arvin.

9.41pm:

So that pic was taken by 9.41pm.
I know, I doesnt look like 15 yrs old.

That's the time before my
lips turned so red.
And I was sweating that time.

2006-11-13T23:06:00.000+08:00

::: 14th of November :::

This picture was taken yesterday after the church ceremony.
Haha.
Im so exhausted that time.
And since Eyc was bored,
she took a picture of her
and here it is.
=X
And that's the new me, anyway.
I became quite dark already
Cos I always go out and exposed myself
in the sunny day.

2006-11-13T13:44:00.000+08:00

::: 13th of November:::

Luckily, the bird from the opposite block

didnt scream today.

And I slept and woke up peacefully.

Today I don't know whether im

going out or not.

I want to watch my friends' basketball match

but im not allowed to go out today.

So it means im going to stay here

doing nothing but sleeping.

Now im chatting with
Fahmi and Arvin.
Its been a long time I never talked
to Fahmi.

Find me!
Joke.

2006-11-12T19:57:00.000+08:00

::: 12th of November :::

Today I must wake up 8am
but I woke up 9am.
If A'niel didnt gave me a call,
surely I will be waking up 12 or 1pm.

I felt very stressed when I woke up
cos yesterday night I already slept around 4am.
I don't know why I cant sleep.
Something bothering? No.
And when I looked at the mirror,
I looked so tired.

I met A'niel at the bus stop at Loyang
and waited for Michael in McDo.

After the ceremony,
Me, A'niel, Michael and Khris hanged out at my house.

Gosh.
I haven't read my Day 21-24.
Tomorrow night will be my Day 25.

Today no sticks.
(You know what I mean about sticks)

So my day is not that complete.

No sticks = not fun.

And today,
I haven't sms my friend,
Fahmi- one of my closest friend.
Closest than any of my friend
even though we only met each other once.

Anyway, Nothing to do.
So bored.
And im now waiting for my dear Arvin to online.
Haha (:
But I need to do something, so I think
I'll just sms him.

Argh! I was pissed again by ****.
Im just asking who is his cousin.
Then, he suddenly said:
"WHY U WAN 2 NOE? ITS NONE OF UR BUSINESS".
Duhh!
It really pissed me off.

And if I ignored him,
don't he ever try to say sorry.

2006-11-11T14:48:00.000+08:00

::: 11th of November :::

Today I suddenly woke up by
the child from the opposite block
who cries very loud as if
her life is going to end.

She cried because her 'daddy' is going to the office.
=X
Cual es incorrecto con ese nino?

I also woke up by the bird who always scream.
Damn. Its so irritating.

Time for me to speak Spanish!!
Haha.
Hay alguien que esta enojado con mi otra vez.
Well, quien el heck yo cuida?
No doy una mierda para esas perras.

Just now im watching tv..
..about cooking.
And I saw french fries.
I nearly want to vomit.
I hate french fries.

Try this:
While drinking coke/pepsi,
try to mix strawberry with it.
Haha. Taste a bit nice.
Sweet.
=X
I saw it from Khris.

Damn so bored.
I want to do something new except for the things I usually do like
playing guitar, reading, sleeping,
chatting, talking on phone, talking, laughing, and breathing.
Any idea? =X

2006-11-11T01:39:00.000+08:00

::: 10-11th of November :::

Today we went to Och with friends.
I still remember what I saw.
Scary.

Damn so bored.
I almost ruin my friend's day.
I accidentally said to his ex-girlfriend that im only his "friend" and I have a boyfriend.
His plan is..
We must pretend that me and him are together.
Cos his girlfriend still chasing him.

Well, so sorry for him.
Its just accidentally.
I didnt said it intentionally.

Ouhya, today I saw my band members who just came from school.
Thank God, they didnt asked me why I never attended the band practice.
Who the heck do I care about that band?
Some more, Im sick and tired of playing the "french horn".
I can only play flute and piano or drums.
I would only go for the practice if the sir let me play the flute.
(:

By the way,
What are you going to do if
your boyfriend cheated on you?
Or lets say, he forced himself to love his girlfriend.
Isn't painful?
Cos there's one guy, who just force himself to love "that" someone..
..and that someone is very close with me.
She's just not my friend, anyway.
See, I can see the future.
I knew before that this thing will be happen 'soon'.

I wish..
'that someone' could stand by her own feet.
Got it?

2006-11-09T18:02:00.000+08:00

::: 9th of November :::

I woke up today by those people who sms me.
Fahmi and Michael.

I received 1 sms from Liyana saying that she cannot go to och trip tomorrow.
She need to attend the awards day.
Whatever it is.

Haish. I still can remember about Jemimah.
I hate liar people.
She said that she had met "the guy" in New Jersey once.
And she also showed me the picture.
Damn!
That's my friend's boyfriend (Kristine) which is a model of punkgothic.
She said she also accompany that guy to pierce his lip.
And that guy lives in Australia, not in New Jersey.
I hope she still can remember all what she had said.
All those lies.

She said sorry for all of what she had done.
Well, yeah, I gave her a second chance.
Jesus forgives us, so we must forgive them also.

And I sensed that SOMEONE is angry with me.
I didnt do anything to him.
It really pissed me off..
Im tired and sick of thinking what I've done wrong until my brain explode.

By the way,
I saw my former best friend's friendster.
I almost couldnt recognise him with his new hairstyle and his matured looks.
We never talked for years
And I didnt get much chance to message him.
Cos I don't want him to think that Im chasing him.
Past is Past.

Promises really meant to be broken.
He said he wouldnt let our friendship be broken.
But what he had done?

I hope he'll remember me always..
..as that special girl he once met in school campus.

2006-11-08T17:08:00.000+08:00

Can you imagine having only 1 half of your head and brain?

Well, watch this:
http://www.killsometime.com/Video/video.asp?ID=581

2006-11-08T15:46:00.000+08:00

::: 8th of November :::

Today is another boring day.
I woke up 12pm.
I received 1 sms from Fahmi again, as usual.
Asking me if I already woke up and what am I doing.

Nothing to do, so I answer Maths 2A book.
I answered all the Skill Practices-Chapter 3 without stopping.
So boring.

Now, its already 3.45pm and I forgot to pray again.
The 3 o'clock prayer.
(For Catholic people only)

Damn!
I haven't ask Liyana about the OCH trip this Friday.
I still don't know the time and where to meet.
Its more fun if only Zhi Han and Jeco or Julian can go with us.

Mrs Pereira said there's a holiday homework in Maths and English which is recorded as a CA marks.
Damn! What homework is that?
They said we must go to www.chaicheesec.com.
Heck, there's no homework in Maths.

By the way, I already have chosen my answer amongst the choices.
If you don't know what am I talking about, don't ask me, bastard!
This is for those people who knew my problem.

Fahmi sms me just now.
He said he and his friends got beaten up.
He got blue black on his face and his back bled.
Fcuk those people who beat or flog him.
And he called me on phone for a while.
I like his voice.
Like a kid.

Its now 10.36pm.
Im still chatting with Arvin on msn.
(=

2006-11-07T18:02:00.000+08:00

::: 7th of November :::

Today I woke up around 1pm by those people who wants to wake me up and asking me if I woke up already.
Well, those people were Fahmi and Liyana.
And I received 6 sms from them.

Yesterday night, I was very pissed with what Ekal said.
Fcuk those people.
Bitches.
I just hate hearing comments or anything about me from them.
Im just giving them a second chance.
And if I really cant take it anymore,
they would get what they want.
And no one can stop me from what I want to do.

By the way, I want to change school.
My choices are Paya Lebar Methodist Girl's School or CHIJ Katong or Raffles Girl's School.
They said CHIJ Katong's priority subject is just Maths.
Maths is the easiest subject for me.
So, Im lucky, huh.

Anyway, my Mommy Merlya rebonded her hair today.
Surely, my Daddy Julian will fall in love with her. =X
Julian-my last time's crush.
Not because of his face, ok?
Just because of his talents.
Our talents and likes are almost the same.
That's why we became close.

The "1-N1 Family"

Merlya-"Mommy"
Julian-"Daddy"
Liyana-"Kaka" or older sister.
Lay Peng="Adeq" or younger sis.
Zhi Han-"little bro"
Me-"Their 2nd older daughter"

Woah. Look like a real family.
See, our Daddy is Chinese, and our mother is Indonesian.
And our 2 siblings are Chinese which they got from their father.
(Lay Peng & Zhi Han)
And the other 2 look like Indonesians which they got from their mother.
(Me and Liyana)

2006-11-06T23:01:00.000+08:00

::: 6th of November :::

(Part 2)

Well, Why im like this?
I cant tell him what I must say properly.
I think he still cant understand what I mean.
And he still dont know what I felt LAST month.
This is my latest problem.

I dont want people hating me for what I do.
Let's say, rejecting.

I can see the future, anyway.
I can also read people's mind sometimes.
So in this two abilities I have, will I be able to find the right answer in my question?

I guess I need a fortune teller to help me.
(Crazy..Silly idea)

By the way, tomorrow is Glam and Khris' 3rd monthsary while Tipin and Allen is 2nd.
Glam and Khris are my "PARENTS" by the way.
And on 5th of December is our turn.

2006-11-06T15:47:00.000+08:00

::: 6th of November :::

Hope my father would allow me to work on January.
I told my mother that next year im going to work and they can only stop me from working if my class position is 10 above.
Sec 2 is just an easy level.
So its impossible for me to get 10+ class position.
Some more, Sec 2 is just my Sec 1 level in Philippines.

By the way, what's wrong with me?

My mind goes blank every time I see him.
I felt something different.
I felt like I am forcing myself from something.
I kept acting different.
Why are my actions different from what my heart tells me?
Why must I act alright?
Can I tell him what I feel now?
I think this is not the right time...
...to hurt someone's heart.

2006-11-05T20:30:00.000+08:00

::: 5th of November :::

Today I woke up so early.
Woke up 6.45am.
Me and Glam met A'niel at Loyang Ave.
And met Michael in McDo at Loyang Point.

And today..guess what happened with my mouth?
Well, I can't open it wide or chew.
I can't even eat burger or fries.
Daammnn!!!
So u'll gonna miss my HORRIBLE laugh..cos I can't laugh too much already.
The pontianak-laugh that you used to hear every time.
And I noticed that im going to have a wisdom tooth oreadi.
Ouch!

Today is 5.
Special date for 2 reasons.

Damn!
I miss my best friend, Zhi Han.
Our "little bro".
Hope he'll still going to study here in Singapore.

That's all.

Adios!

2006-11-04T01:53:00.000+08:00

` 4th of November `

So far, my day today is quite fun.
I went to Danielle's house just to see the "someone" I've been missing for weeks.
But I didn't saw him.
Just a glimpse.

We had fun by watching movies and making jokes & pranks.
(:

We went back home around 8pm.
I talked on phone for hours even though im really tired.
I Just can't stop my mouth talking and laughing.

I continue reading the Christian book.
I must read one chapter a day.
Its the "The Purpose Driven Life".
I forgot to read my Day 14-16.
So I read it just now.
Tomorrow I must repeat reading Chapter 16 'cos I don't understand it, and start reading my Day 17.

Well, that's all for today.

Adios!

2006-11-02T16:48:00.000+08:00

Eyc's here again. (:

I woke up today early - 7.30am.
I need to go to Bedok (Bedok North)..

Can't wait to go Sec. 2 next year.
Can't wait to see my crazy friends who I used to teased.
I miss the..
laughter, pranks, teasing, playing, chasing and cheating.

But so sad, Jeco will go to 2N2, Chen Feng will stay back and Liyana will go to 2EA and the rest of my group is 2N1.
Luckily, There's still Li Sin, Merlya, Yi Zhong, Bianda, Lay Peng, Hong Jian, Shu Rong.
Especially my very best friends: Julian and Zhi Han.

Will I ever cope this coming year if my two VERY closest friend (Liyana & Jeco) will be separated from me?
~~Damn!~~

=X

2006-11-01T17:35:00.000+08:00

Another day came. Another boring day came. Well, I woke up around 11am. I felt very tired and restless when I woke up. I ate my breakfast and drank Iced Milo. I went back to my room and read Goosebumps. The clock striked to 1pm and I ate my lunch. I took a bath after I ate. I felt so bored. Damn bored.

Well, I was wondering last night how to solve my problem. I cant share it with you because its personal.

Its really hard for me. I think Halim's problem was passed to me.

So far, this is all I can say for this day.

See ya.

Adios!

2006-10-31T14:10:00.000+08:00

Emo-Queen welcomes you back to her world.

Well as you can see, I deleted my previous entries. I deleted it because it make me pissed with my past memories. I want to forget about it.Just want to start a new one.