___Put Me Aside-

Jan 12, 2007

I have new site:

http://fallenangel4.multiply.com

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Jan 1, 2007

Me.

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A year has passed
and I still havent change
for being so emotional.

I think I must give up already,
rather to endure this pain.
But Im not gonna hate him for that.

Waa. Its already 5am.
and you know what?
I still couldnt sleep.
My heart's been aching again,
as usual.
I think I dont have tears anymore
cos of crying too much.
Really cant take it anymore.
When this pain will be cease?
='(

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Dec 31, 2006

Its just so painful.
Yeah. Damn so painful.
Every night
I'm crying over to sleep.
Heart's been aching, as usual.
Everyday, I'm not in my mood,
no mood to eat,
no mood to talk,
no mood to laugh.
All I did was to keep quiet
and realize those tears rolling down on
my cheeks again and again.

I wish one day,
I stopped breathing.
Can't take it anymore.
I also dont know what's
wrong with me now. ='(
Dont ask me if I'm ok.
Im NOT ok.

Just now I tried
to go to church at Somerset,
prayed over and over again
but...
Seems it was all unanswered.
)=
All I need is a shoulder
to lean on.

...I WANNA SCREAM MY SADNESS OUT!

Labels: Suffocate your will to live with my pain.

[[ Put Aside ]]*|31.12.06|

Dec 29, 2006

I just wish that
he also loves me
like how much I love him.

But I think, it
wouldnt happen it anymore.
Seems he feel bored with me
already.

Couldnt sleep last night,
heart's been aching,
thinking about it..

I couldnt take it anymore
so I watched some video clips
in my hp.

But it was no use.
I cant stop thinking about it.

How am I going to forget it?
I must make myself busy.
Maybe, I rather go to church everyday at 5pm
(Church of our Lady of Perpetual Succour)
(2 bus stops before Bedok Interchange)
since I dont have work for 2 weeks.

Labels: Heart beats slowing, pains are growing.

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Dec 28, 2006

If I apologize for what I had done, would he let me start again with a clean sheet?
Damn.
But im not used saying sorry to people.
Saying sorry is not in my dictionary.
If people wants me to say sorry,
they rather change their name to "sorry".

Asswipe!
I dont know what to do.
I dont want to hurt people's feelings.
But I didnt meant to hurt him.
I know its a very bad news for him,
but he cant do anything but to accept it, right?
He said I must leave him alone until the school re-opening.
Fine. I also want him to leave me until I leave Chai Chee Sec.
And at last, he told me that "he rather not to see me in school".

Waa..
I have now alot of problems.
First of all,
My parents always dont allow me to
do things like this and like that.
They treated me and my sis like babies.
Seems we need to have our wings clipped.
Treating us like babies sucks.

Thats why Im quite overindulged with my parents especially with my father.

Oh ya, if he thinks that im also hurt
about that, well, no, im not.
Remember, im insensitive.

Change topic! Wahaha!

I want to see the doctor and
check whether I have disease or dont have.
Cos I always have headache.
Now im lucky. I didnt get headache today.
It happened this to me once in a blue moon
so Im very happy.
No headache! Whee! Haha! (=

I want to buy condom. =X
FOR FUN.
Not for fun on bed ha! Excuse me!
Just for fun. In case I want to do sex.
JOKE! Haha!
I won't do. Cos I'm too young.
UNDERAGE.

I dont want to steal one from
my parents' cabinet anymore.
Later they would think I will use it for real.

I remember when I was 7,
I found condoms,
and I was very curious like a fucking ignorant girl
so I opened one and played it.
I put my finger in it and stretched it.
I found it boring so I throwed it to the other house. (my neighbour)
=X

Oh my..Oh my..
New year's coming. 2007.
And a new age.
Im getting older.
Im just waiting for the 2010 to come.
The legal age! =X
I can do anything I want to do.
My wings wont be clipped no more.

Labels: apology

[[ Put Aside ]]*|28.12.06|

Dec 26, 2006

::: 26th of December :::

Me and my teddy bear, Fuck.

Waa! Asswipe!!
That fucking Mrs Tan complained
to my father and mother that
I always go out with guys.

Luckily, my parents didnt get angry
cos they knew before that I dont
have too much girl friends.

Some more, that day,
my parents thought Im lesbian.
They observed me since Im Primary 5 until now.
They said
I dont like to play with girls, especially barbies.
I usually mingle with my boys cousins and friends.
I usually play boy's games.
I know alot of boy's talk not girl's talk.
I Hate girls.
ETC.

Duhh. Im not a lesbian.
How can be a lesbian will have a boyfriend?
If im a lesbian, I would not be with him n0w.

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Dec 20, 2006

::: 20th December :::

5 more days before Christmas Day.

Haha.

Just now in the morning I took

bus 24 to go to Bedok.

Then Bhavesh sms me and

told me that he can't go.

It pissed me off. >:/

I missed him. :O

Especially that gay...I mean guy.

(Bhavesh)

Especially his childishness attitude.

Then, instead of going back home,

I went to Kal's home

and ask him to go with me to

eat lunch at Pizza hut.

....

Im now chatting with

the guy who hurt my feelings

last time - my best friend, Gerard.

Im his January Lover. (2005)

Wohaha. I still can remember the

"monthly lovers ni Gerard".

October Lover - A'niel

November Lover - Joy

December & January Lover - Eyc

October & November (2006) Lover - Ella.

According to him,

"best friend first to become his lover".

Then after the girl fell in love with him,

he will left the girl and come back to his

ex girlfriend.

Painful...right?

Like he only used me as his

band aid or plaster.

At least Im nOw happy with that guy.

That guy. Haha.

Hope he wont do what Gerard did last time.

Picture taken yesterday. (=

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